Life Lessons with Lindsay

In my job, I am often in debates. I debate the financial side of the decision because, as the CFO, that is my role. No matter how educated or well-thought-out my argument is, I don’t always get my way. I know, I know, welcome to life. But really, who doesn’t want to get their way all the time?!

So when I don’t get my way, how am I supposed to respond? If you watch the way politicians behave you would think that I should say hateful things and look to retaliate. (What a disappointment our government has become!) But life has taught me that disagreements are part of life and there are things to learn from them.

My mom loves to argue. I mean LOVES to argue. I can write this because she knows it to be true and we pick on her about it. Being raised by an argumentative, strong, intelligent woman naturally rubbed off on me. Early in my marriage/career I argued about everything and took “winning” personally. As you can imagine, being young, unwise and argumentative didn’t make me the most desirable person to be around. My abrasiveness, as well as many other life challenges, took its toll on our marriage.
Big Daddy and I went through some tough times. These challenges forced both of us to look inward. We had to address the flaws we had. My stubbornness and argumentative attitude were top of the list for me.

During this time I learned, through much prayer and a very wise counselor’s guidance, a few major things.

I learned that arguing was often counterproductive. It forces people to say things they would never say if not in a heightened emotional state. 
Sometimes having peace in your life is more important than being right. 
Life is not black and white and therefore relationships can’t be either. There are good people who do bad things and there are bad people who do good things. We all fall in one of those two categories. 

So what is my point here? My point is that we will disagree with people everyday over something. It may be insignificant (curtains or blinds). It may also be extremely important (heaven or hell). Still, a difference of opinions does not mean an end of a relationship. If we can’t have cordial conversations, maintaining respect for all involved then we are the problem.

For me, this has been a learned skill. And those that know me know that I slip up and have to check myself. Sometimes, when my hot flashes are in full swing, I really want to pick a fight. But life has a way of humbling me when I need it most. I am often reminded that a strong opinion doesn’t always equal a right opinion.

Have the conversation. Respectfully state your opinion. Respectfully listen to others opinions. Discuss the reasoning behind the opinions and then be okay disagreeing. Listen for the lessons to be gleaned in the conversation because you are almost never 💯 correct.

Then love each other anyway and know that it is okay to love someone you disagree with.