Life Lessons with Lindsay

Today I am mad. And I mean the kind of mad that I know the Lord isn’t happy with me about. As a matter of fact, I realize that in the middle of my anger and still cannot calm myself down. That’s the kind of mad that can get me in trouble quick. So I am choosing to write here instead of spending time on social media where the fight is tonight.

Today I felt personally attacked. Someone asked for an indictment against me without knowing me or having any proof of the allegations. Truth be told, I have been known to bend the law a little, but not in the sense of these allegations. More of in the sense of being the driver in a “rolling” outing or encouraging the throwing of firecrackers into neighbors yards for entertainment value. You know, good clean fun as I call it. No property damage and a little character building. I digress.

As I sit here stewing over the issue, I have found myself thinking that I now know why so many people become bitter and skeptical. It’s because life is truly not fair and most of us have more than enough reasons to not believe in good. I am teetering at that point currently. You know, the point where I say screw everyone else, I will only look out for me and mine. Every man for himself and all that. But….I know I’m not allowed to be that way.

Why you ask. Because apparently I’m flawed too. Heck, if I think hard enough, I can probably come up with a time (or two) that I pushed someone closer to skepticism and bitterness. Yes, that’s right. Turns out that even though I am sitting here good and worked up, I can still see through my anger (at least until I am back in the middle of the fight) to know that I am not above the hardships of life.

I am a severely flawed individual, and no matter my good intentions, I am far beyond perfect. But perfection doesn’t even matter in this case. There was one perfect person to live (yes here I go with the Jesus talk) and he suffered enough injustice to make Him the most bitter skeptic that ever walked the face of the earth. And yet, He was selfless to the end.

I will never achieve that kind of selflessness. I will also make mistakes because as smart as I think I am, I can never know everything and see the overall plan. So why would I be immune from people acting like jerks? Needless to say guys, I am still big mad and that is going to take some time to get over. But in the end, I will have to force myself to push away the bitterness. Not because I am that good of a person (as you can tell from my blog), but because I am called to try.

Lord, help me to not let these jerks wear me down. You deserve more from me.